Stages that the codependent person goes through

  • Primary causes that can make a person codependent
    • Usually that person has grown up in an upset family and has mastered the rule that “caring” for others is a measure of self-worth.
    • They failed to “cure” their parents, so they will “cure” the person suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, computer or eating disorders.
    • They find a person with a similar addiction who “needs” control.
    • They begin to doubt the way they perceive things and in order to show determination they try to control the other person’s intake of alcohol, drugs, food.
    • Social life is also affected. They isolate themselves from the community in order to “help” the person suffering from addiction.
  • Period of obsession and secrecy
    Obsession
    • Making requests and threats related to the intake of alcohol, drugs, or crossing the border of a game in the gambling hall or in the other person’s computers.
    • They condemn themselves and believe that the reason for the addiction is in them.
    • They hide alcohol, money, drugs, computer cables from the addicted person
    • Trying to control the dependence of the partner / child by rubbing in, making rows.
    • They show anger and frustration because the addicted person does not keep their promises.

    Secrecy

    • They constantly spy on or covers up the person suffering from addiction.
    • They take responsibility for and instead of them.
    • During a conversation, they are completely obsessed with attention to prevent contact between the addicted person and others.
    • Inappropriate outbursts of anger.
  • Loss of control
    • Desperate and aggressive attempts to control the intake of alcohol, drugs, or a visit to a gaming club, standing in front of the computer of the person by one’s side. They constantly fight with them.
    • Physical and spiritual neglect.
    • They turn their attention outside marriage, begin to cheat, become workaholic or absorbed in some side interests.
    • They lose their flexibility, they are overwhelmed by feelings of ownership. They are angry most of the time. They beware of disclosing domestic problems.
    • They may be suffering from a disease related to the problem, such as ulcers, rashes, migraines, depression, obesity or abusing sedatives.
    • Constant outbursts of anger.
    • They begin to feel bad and tired from the fact that they constantly feel bad and tired.