Your independent steps from the codependence

We work with our limiting beliefs and overcoming our own prejudices. We need to replace doubt with trust in life. We need to take time to write down our beliefs about health, relationships, life, God. If they are negative, we need to process them into positive ones.
We use the personal pronoun I and the positive form:
“I came to this world in order to experience love and happiness.” “I have plans and intentions to carry out.”

We need to organize our spiritual life and reconsider our value system. We should try not to rebel and push against the walls, but to accept the losses as well as to learn how to abandon our desires and to accept the lessons of life with gratitude. In this step we build a bridge between heaven and earth.
We must believe, even if we are atheists, that we will not be left alone with our problem, but there is a Higher Power that can help us, as long as we want it. This will also contribute to building a positive image of ourrself and a vision for further fulfilling life.

We stop looking only at the others and look at ourselves. We make an effort to find our weaknesses. Self-analysis includes an overview of personal relationships. We realize what our own shortcomings and positive qualities are and then we record our observations in a diary. We can call it: A Diary of My Virtues and Shortcomings.
We must look fearlessly at ourselves, without self-hatred or self-condemnation, but with love, honesty and concern for our own person. We may even find that our real moral problem is that we do not love each other enough or even hate each other. We have to get to the root of all other problems, including the sense of guilt. We must also look at our positive qualities, to pay attention to our pain and anger. We undertake a comprehensive study of our personality and the role we play in our own lives. In this way we will be able to unload the well-deserved feeling of guilt, to remove the undeserved guilt, to accept everything we call our own personality and to set the beginning of growth and change.
The readiness to undertake self-analysis brings light and new confidence.

“I am codependent and there is a person in my family addicted to alcohol, gambling, drugs …”
“I need specialized help.”
We confess before God, before ourselves and before any other human being the true nature of our problem and transgressions.
Confession is good for the soul. Nothing can compare to it. From now on we no longer need to hide. We share our most horrible and shameful secrets with a person who is skilled in listening to and hearing the confessions of the fifth step. We tell someone how affected and angry we feel. Someone listens to us. Someone is worried about us. We receive forgiveness and the wounds begin to heal. We forgive ourselves. That is why this step is so liberating.

At this point we already realize that some of the things we have done have hurt ourselves and probably the others. We decide that we are ready to take the risk and get rid of outdated attitudes and patterns of behaviour. We are now ready to change and even assist in this renewal process.
We are fully prepared to take the path of spiritual development which will eliminate all these shortcomings of our character.

We study our strengths and weaknesses to achieve our integrity. This will lead to acceptance of our personality as well as acceptance of others and humility. What is humility? What can it mean for us? The path to true freedom of the human spirit; necessary means of survival; failures and misfortunes transformed by humility; strength coming from weakness. Pain is the price we have to pay to start a new life. Step Seven is a change in our attitude that allows us to get out of ourselves, to look at ourselves from aside in order to continue on the path of spiritual growth.

The important word here is readiness for humility. Do not forget to include yourself in the list. This is our chance to get rid of the sense of guilt. This step is a very important part of a tool that we will have throughout our lives so that we do not have to feel guilty.

This is a simple, but extremely difficult step. Sometimes the simplest things can make us happy. Let us act!

We continue to monitor ourselves closely, regularly assessing our behaviour. We have a clear idea of what we like in ourselves, what things we have done correctly and well. Then we greet each other, feel satisfied and thank God. We estimate which of the things we do we do not like and then we find a way to accept it and take care of it without feeling self-hatred. This exactly is the difficult moment – to be able to admit it if we find out we have been wrong. Given that we have gone through the eighth and ninth steps and freed ourselves from guilt, we will know when to say, “I was wrong,” and “I’m sorry about that.”

We only pray to know His will and to be able to fulfil it. Regular and timely use of this step will lead us to success throughout our lives. For its successful implementation it is necessary to realize the difference between chewing on the mind and thinking. We must also decide whether we believe that God is kind to us.
Relax. Separate. Meditate. Indulge in prayer. Think. Ask Him what He wants you to do. Ask Him to give you the opportunity to do so. Then leave things alone and watch what happens. In most cases His will is connected with an expedient, reasonable approach to life. It may happen that we come across a surprise. Learn to trust the Higher Power to whom you have entrusted your life. Strive to be aware of the way He works with us. Learn to trust yourself. God also works through ourselves.

We reach the inner balance we strive for. We will wake up spiritually. We will learn to take care of our spiritual nature (it is not a question of religiosity although it is also part of our lives).
This programme will give us the opportunity to love ourselves and others instead of saving them and being saved. Delivering the message does not mean that we will become preachers. The idea is that our lives will turn into light and we will learn how to spread it. No matter which area of our lives we should apply this programme to, it will produce results.